Tonight is definitely an ativan night.
It’s amazing how far shock and denial can carry you.
I’m getting tired of contacting people to tell them that Joey died. Not real people, but companies. Sending away copies of a death certificate that I don’t want to touch or look at. Today is my last day of doing this crap for a while.
Ordered myself a locket from etsy last night so that I don’t have to be the creepy old bat who is carrying around her husband’s ashes in her purse. I can’t stand the thought of them going in the box until I make it cozy in there. Around your neck is better than a dime bag in your purse, right? Or is that still creepy old bat-ish? Is it wrong if you know the answer, but choose to conduct yourself in that fashion anyway? Is it wrong that I don’t care?
Posted our thank you letter to the donor family today. I consider that an accomplishment. Am slowly working through the things that need to be done. Very, very slowly. Getting ready to bolt again. Being home is hard. Not sure where I belong anymore.
The Joey party went as well as it could go. Some video footage was shot of the event (thank you Rebecca). I am working on getting it edited and my hope is that it could eventually be put on this site for those of you who were unable to make it. And by working on getting it edited I mean procrastinating about asking a friend for help in this endeavor. Man am I on it. A big thank you to everyone who helped pull the event together, attended to help celebrate Joey’s life, and to those of you who got up and shared your “Joey stories”. It was not an easy day, but I definitely appreciate all of the hard work people put into making it happen.
I hear that a common question that was circulating throughout the hall was whether there was a distinction between being an organ donor, being a bone marrow donor, and being a blood donor. YES, there is. They are separate. If you are a bone marrow donor, you are not necessarily a registered organ donor in BC. You can check your registration status to see if you’re an organ donor at: www.transplant.bc.ca (you will need your care card number to do so).
The blood donor thing is another issue that there are common misconceptions about. Many people are under the impression that if you are not allowed to donate blood in Canada, you are not allowed to be an organ donor in BC. Wrong. Canadian Blood Services and BC Transplant are different organizations. If you are prohibited from donating blood, it does not necessarily mean that you can’t be an organ donor.
It’s been a busy week, to say the least. Wednesday was followed by Thursday, which entailed the family gathering at the beach where we scattered Janeen’s ashes last year to do the same with the majority of Joey’s. I kept a tiny bit for myself because honestly, I am not sure where I want them to be yet. My assumption is that he would like them to be kept in a creepy urn on the mantle, surrounded by candles, with the expectation that I bow down and worship him a minimum of twice a day. But, marriage is about compromising, so we’ll have to wait and see how that goes.
Tributes were paid and included each of us leaving a rose at the beach for Joey, hitting a golf ball into the ocean (some of us took this to the next level – I appreciate that too), writing sweet messages in the sand, leaving a couple of beautiful dreamcatchers made by baby bear down at the beach for protection, and of course, a nice roll on the ground after Gary called: “Dead fucking fly” for Joey. Plus, Joey apparently made his imprint on Siarah’s ass – to her chagrin and my amusement. Oh, and Teja found a beer farther down the beach and gifted it to a very special (pushy?) auntie. All in all it was a pretty good day.
Here’s a few pics:
By the time we left there was a single rose left by the water. I think it was for me. Richard begs to differ.