My life coach (Rebecca) and I did a little trip planning today. Intimidating, but fun! A few possible routes there were mapped, East coast ferries were explored, and loyalty programs were investigated. Apparently, you can trade your airmiles and save-on-more points for hotel vouchers. Hopefully I have enough to buy me a few nights at least. If anyone is interested in helping in this way, bring it on, it is very much appreciated. If not I’ll just sleep in my car on the side of the highway. Jokes…I think.

Loving the ideas people. Keep ‘em coming!



I have run into roadblock #1 with my trip. My understanding is that due to licensing agreements, Cystic Fibrosis Canada is not allowed to donate the DVDs to me for distribution to libraries. I could use the donated movies for distribution to individuals, but for institutional use, the cost of the DVDs is much steeper. Damn.

This leaves me at a bit of a crossroads. Anybody have any ideas/desire to raise money to buy some DVDs? Any businesses want to sponsor this event? Anyone out there want to do their own little fundraisers (bake sales, car washes, or something on a larger scale) to help buy the movies? Unfortunately, I am not in the headspace to go full tilt into the large scale fundraising for DVDs element of this project, so at this point, any help would be appreciated.

Alternatively, I had the idea to distribute the donated copies of the movies to random individuals across the country and ask them watch it, then pass it on to a friend…65 times each. Hopefully this would still raise awareness, albeit on a much smaller scale. Double damn, but at least it that, in conjunction with some media attention that is in the works, would spread the word a bit.

The plan is still to leave PR on the 20th, do Vancouver Island, then speak at the opening ceremonies for the longest game ever played on the 26th. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this event, here’s the link to check it out: Exciting stuff. You go girls! They’re still looking for players too if any of you gals out there are interested. I’d go, but I can’t skate and am pretty sure I’d wind up breaking my arm in the first 3 minutes.

Wish me luck on this DVD thing. Email me at if you have any thoughts or ideas. Right now, the suggestion window is open!



I’ve recently decided to go on a little drive…across the country. Here’s why:

  • I’m lost and I don’t know what to do with myself. The future I had planned is down the toilet. I need a new game plan. The problem is, whenever I come up with one, it sounds okay for the first little bit, then it doesn’t feel right anymore.
  • Sooooo, I thought that it would be a good idea to take a trip. There are a lot of people spread out across Canada who I would love to see again, or meet in person for the first time. Taking a trip also buys me some time and will open my eyes to new opportunities while I try and figure out what to do with my life. I think having new experiences, meeting new people, reconnecting with others, and going on a little adventure is a good thing.
  • Now for the other part that I’m really excited about: this trip is also going to give me the opportunity to raise awareness about organ donation and Cystic Fibrosis. How, you ask? Remember the documentary film 65_RedRoses that our friend Eva Markvoort, who also had Cystic Fibrosis, did about her wait for her first double lung transplant? On my way, I am going to be delivering 65 copies of the film to libraries in various communities across Canada. The hope is that people who have not had pre-existing contact with CF or transplant will become more familiar with these issues and either register to be an organ donor, support the fight against CF, or end up doing both. I have the backing of both Eva’s family and the Vancouver chapter of Cystic Fibrosis Canada in this endeavor. The beauty of this event is that it can be as big or as small as I am capable of. If I’m not having a good day, I can either stay put, or drop off a DVD anonymously as I breeze through town. If I am feeling okay enough, I have the ability to make it into a bigger deal and do more promoting. I think the key will be to pace myself and have a realistic outlook of what I am capable of at the moment.

How I am going to do it:

  • The Vancouver chapter of Cystic Fibrosis Canada has been kind enough to donate a large number of the DVDs to help me on my mission. My fingers are crossed that I am able to get some kind of discount on the remaining movies, but we’ll have to see how it unfolds.
  • When I started thinking about it, I came to the realization that Joey and I know a lot of people spread out across the country. Many of them have been kind enough to volunteer to let me rest my weary head at their pads while I drive across.
  • Of course, there are going to be other expenses. Gas will be the biggest, but there will also be the remaining DVDs, food, and likely the odd hostel/hotel. I’m just going to throw it out there that if anyone wants to make a donation to help out with the trip expenses, it would be greatly appreciated (I also still have several Joey bracelets and 2011 calendars, so if you want one, please let me know when you make a donation). That said, I recognize that we have needed an extraordinary amount of support over the years, so if people are tapped out or don’t want to help, I completely understand. There is no expectation at all. IF you want to make a donation, it can be sent to either:

Kirstin Whitford, C-1 R.R. #1 Whalen Road, Powell River, BC, V8A 4Z2

Email transfers can be sent to (Just be sure to watch the spelling of both the first and last names. Yup, now I have the double-whammy weird name). Funds can also be deposited into Royal Bank savings account number: 5128046, transit number 08160. You need both of these numbers to make a deposit.

This info is also listed on the “How can I help?” section of the website.

Thus begins my soul searching/making things better for other people and hopefully myself mission. My fingers are crossed that this goes well; I’m excited and scared, but mostly excited. I leave home on August 20th (the day that Joey’s lung transplant finished – the operation spanned 2 days) and will be rolling back into Vancouver on October 24th (the day that Eva had her first double lung transplant)…65 days later. Weird, right? Normally I am skeptical, but I think that someone might be pulling a few strings for me. How can I say no to the J-Dub?


Good Day to You

Pretty much sums up how both my birthday (July 17th) and the 5 month anniversary (yesterday) of Joey’s death went. I like to set the bar low for myself.

In other, more positive news, I attended another kick ass wedding for two other kick ass people. Tracy and Alex got married on the 16th. Didn’t they look fab? Or, more importantly, ecstatic:

A good time was had by all. Unfortunately, I did not learn my lesson from the last wedding I attended re: the dead husband jokes, however, this time there were more people there who understand that sarcasm and maniacal laugher are my screwed up way of coping. That said, I did still manage to alienate myself from a few people. Pretty soon it’ll be a fine tuned skill. I think I redeemed myself on the dance floor…or just made it worse. Either way, J-Dub would’ve been proud.

I also finally got to meet this little darling yesterday:

Koren and Haven are here visiting from Calgary, so we hobbled over to the Shinglemill to have a post-birthday lunch. Mmm good!


Dead Husband Jokes and the Rest of July

Here is a summary of my July whacky adventures to date:

Attended Dallas and Darren’s wedding at the beginning of the month. The bride looked stunning, of course and the groom dashing. I discovered that making several “my husband is dead” jokes (especially ones about taxidermy) are a great way to alienate yourself from the vast majority of the people sitting at your table, even if it makes you feel less uncomfortable going to an event like this solo. I also learned that no matter how many jokes I cracked, my heart still hurt just as much when it was time to cut a rug at the end of the night.

Went camping in Pemberton with Ryan. Shockingly, I had a good time. This may have been due to the fact that we were there for the only two sunny days in July, or it may have had something to do with the fact that I was camping with someone who did all of the cooking as well as nearly all of the cleaning, set up, and take down. And who was responsible for starting, stoking, and putting out the campfire, and fetched all of the water, and who taught me how to toast a perfect marshmallow, which esentially involved me watching him toast them to perfection, then demanding they be placed into my grubby little fingers so that I could shove the entire thing into my mouth at once. Had anyone else witnessed this, I’m sure they would have deemed it a revolting spectacle and me a revolting specimen. Good thing nobody else was around.

Went to Clearwater to hug some people I love and to honor a woman who played a special part in my life. There’s nothing like a few “my mother is dead” jokes to make you feel less bad for coping with “my husband is dead” jokes. As long as I’m laughing, I’m as okay as I can be. It’s when I stop that the real hurt sets in and takes over.

Like the last few days. I got home, ran a few errands, then spent much of the last two days in a ball sobbing on the floor. On the plus side, I came pretty close to throwing my back out today, so at least I am now unable to remain in one position for an extended amount of time. Alternating crying on the floor with crying in a chair with good back support and crying while standing up really makes you miss your dead husband less.



My friend Brenda died last week. Today I went to her funeral in Clearwater. I’m sorry that Jackson and Michelle lost their mom. I’m sorry that Karley lost her best friend. I’m sorry Jack lost his Brenda.

The speeches made in her honor were amazing and genuine; just like her. Who else but Jackson could turn such a miserable occasion into something akin to a standup comedy routine, mixed with plenty of tears, of course. What an incredible person he’s grown up to be.

So that’s where I am these days; bumming around the interior again. I’ve been trying to force myself out and to be un-mopey to some degree; sometimes I am more successful at this than others. Will update with more whacky adventures when I’m feeling less miserable, but for now I’m outtie.